Gammon, Egg and Chips

A Love Letter to Gammon, Egg and Chips – With Extra Salt

Let’s not beat around the bush (unless you’re hiding from this dish): Gammon, egg and chips isn’t haute cuisine, it’s the Saturday night saviour of the too-tired-to-care and the tastebuds of the terminally nostalgic. It’s basically the UK’s idea of culinary romance - if your idea of romance involves pork, fried things, and cholesterol levels that read like your credit card debt.

Welcome to the only meal you can both fancy up and eat with your hands, usually at a pub that serves Stella Artois with a suspicious side-eye. If you’re easily offended, congratulations, you’ve found the perfect blog post to ruin your day and question your life choices. Let’s chew through the basics.

The Holy Trinity of Beige: Ingredients

If you’re after farm-to-table, this is more field-to-fatty. Here’s what you pretend you bought fresh:

• 2 thick slices gammon (bonus points if they’re as salty as your ex)
• 2 large free-range eggs (or just normal eggs, we don’t judge – we mock)
• 400g chips (thick, thin, oven, or triple-cooked - the only chips we don’t endorse are gambling habits)
• Oil for frying (the more saturated, the better the flavour and the quicker the heart attack)
• Salt and pepper (because apparently, we still care about seasoning)
• Optional: peas, pineapple rings (for those who like fruit with their pig)

Step-by-Step – The Road to Cardiac Adventure

1. Chips First: Start with the chips. Either deep-fry for that classic crispiness or oven-bake if self-loathing is your thing. Want to be extra? Double-fry those bad boys until even your arteries start whispering, "stop."
2. Gammon Glory: Heat your acclaimed non-stick pan (if it sticks, blame the pan, not your skills). Cook each side of the gammon slice for 3-4 minutes – or until pink turns to ‘please don’t sue us.’
3. Egg-cellent Timing: In the same oily haven, crack in the eggs. Fry until the edges are crispy and the centre is just firm enough to survive a knife but not your disappointment.
4. Assembly Required: Dump – sorry, artfully place – the chips onto a plate. Add gammon, slide on that egg, and if you’re feeling five-a-day guilt, some peas.
5. Finishing Touches: Salt, pepper, and if you’re from the tropics (or think you are after two pina coladas), a ring of pineapple.

Tips, Variations, and Regret

• Swap chips for sweet potato fries if you want your meal to look healthy while your pancreas laughs.
• Add a squirt of brown sauce. Or ketchup. Or both, if your palate died in 1997.
• Veggie gammon? Sure, you can, but don’t expect your guests to stay – or you to enjoy it.
• Feeling sophisticated? Serve it on slate and call it ‘deconstructed British staple.’ It will still taste of nostalgia and sodium.

Nutrition Information: Knowledge Is Suffering

Here’s a rough guide to what’s entering your body:

Component	Calories	Fats (g)	Salt (g)
Gammon	250	15	2.5
2 Eggs	150	10	0.3
Chips (400g)	600	30	1.0
Oil	120	13	0

Total: You’re not running a marathon after. Let’s just say this might fuel your existential dread until Tuesday.

Before You Escape

Now you know how to make gammon, egg and chips – the meal that’s so British, it apologises to you for existing. Give it a try the next time you fancy something comforting, or when you want your kitchen to smell like the northern end of a southbound pig.

And if you serve pineapple? Send us a photo. We need a laugh.