Magherita Pizza

Why Margherita Pizza Is a National Treasure (For People With No Imagination)

Ah, Margherita pizza: the meal for when you want to tell the world, "I've got a Netflix account, no ambition, and a crippling fear of spicy food." Allegedly invented for an Italian queen who must have been allergic to joy, Margherita is the pizza equivalent of a white shirt, the missionary position of the culinary world, and the safe choice for people haunted by the ghost of pineapple.

But let’s not be too cruel (the queen might sue from her grave). The legend says that chef Raffaele Esposito made this tri-coloured delight with basil, tomato, and mozzarella to celebrate Italy’s flag. Or maybe he was just out of toppings. Who knows? Love a dish with more origin stories than Spider-Man.

The Three-Member Cast: Ingredients That Won’t Scare Your Nana

• Pizza Dough (Enough for one pizza. Or two if you’re sharing and like being disappointed.)
• Tomato Sauce (Not ketchup. Try harder.)
• Mozzarella Cheese (Fresh if you can afford it. Otherwise, something white and meltable.)
• Fresh Basil Leaves (A handful. If the grocery store’s out, just use guilt.)
• Olive Oil (No, you can’t substitute with engine oil—or you can, but that’s probably your last meal.)
• Salt (Also available in thin-skinned food bloggers.)

How To Make a Margherita Pizza (Or: The Joy of Low Standards)

1. Preheat Your Oven to the hottest setting possible. If your kitchen doesn’t get hotter than your last Tinder date, blast the grill.
2. Roll Out the Dough. Don’t overthink it—unless you’re Italian, no one’s watching.
3. Spread the Tomato Sauce with the care and precision of a toddler decorating a wall.
4. Add Mozzarella. Try to arrange it in circles and pretend you’re an artist. Or just dump it on. Pizza is forgiving.
5. Toss On Basil Leaves. Place them before cooking for dry crunch, or after for Instagram envy. Or forget them entirely, but don’t blame Italy if you do.
6. Drizzle Olive Oil. Not too much—it’s pizza, not a Slip ‘N Slide.
7. Bake until the cheese is bubbly and the crust looks like it’s seen better days.
8. Slice, Post to Social Media, and Regret Nothing

Tips & Naughty Variations (You Rebel, You)

• Burnt Is Authentic: Can’t get the crust right? Call it artisanal. Charge double.
• Vodka Sauce: Switch up tomato sauce for vodka sauce if you’re planning to nap afterward.
• Add Extras (And Prepare for Judgment): Nobody will arrest you for adding mushrooms or anchovies, except possibly your Italian grandmother.
• Buffalo Mozzarella: Use this for fancy vibes. Warning: Friends may expect more.
• Gluten-Free Base: If you want to lose friends and annoy people, bring your own.

Nutrition Fantasy Corner

Let’s pretend Margherita pizza is healthy:

If you’re eating pizza for health reasons, may I suggest a salad. Or therapy.

The Final Slice (Life Lessons Not Included)

Is Margherita pizza thrilling? Not unless you think buttered toast is a rollercoaster. But it’s classic, crowd-pleasing, and won’t get you cancelled at a dinner party.

So, preheat that oven and embrace mediocrity—sometimes, it’s a beautiful thing. Hungry for more? Try jazzing it up, or just keep serving it to friends who think oregano is a party drug.

Next move? Crank up the oven and pray for compliments. Or at least, silence.