Recipes
5 minute read

St. Honoré Cake

Written by
Nathan Cafearo
Published on
June 4, 2025

Welcome to Your New Baking Nemesis: The St. Honoré Cake

Let’s address the pâte à choux in the room: the St. Honoré Cake is the show-stopping dessert you bake when you want to impress, confuse, and potentially alienate everyone you know. Named for the patron saint of bakers (because no real saint would endorse this much suffering), the St. Honoré Cake will consume your patience, self-worth, and most of your Sunday. But hey, at least you’ll post a photo on Instagram that screams, “I have questionable hobbies and am desperate for attention!”

What Lies Beneath—Or Rather, On Top, Below and All Over This Cake

Before you flee, let’s look at the ingredients. Here’s what you’ll need to make a cake so complex, even your therapist will need therapy.

  • Puff pastry sheet (store-bought, unless you’re a masochist)
  • Pâte à choux (flour, water, butter, eggs—don’t worry, you’ll cry later)
  • Chantilly cream (heavy cream, sugar, vanilla—because your arteries weren’t clogged enough)
  • Caramel (sugar and water, plus bravery)
  • Egg wash (egg + splash of water, for that regretful shine)

The Seven Circles of Pastry Hell: Assembly Instructions

  1. Roll out the puff pastry. Cut a circle, bake, and pretend you’re already tired, because you are.
  2. Prepare the pâte à choux. Boil, mix, pipe into little balls. If your balls aren’t perfectly identical, don’t worry, neither are your life choices.
  3. Bake the choux balls until golden brown. Pray they don’t burn, because starting over means facing your own mediocrity.
  4. Make caramel. Heat sugar until it’s the color of existential dread. Dunk choux balls in caramel, burning your fingertips and regretting every decision that got you to this point.
  5. Whip Chantilly cream. Try to avoid thinking about how much saturated fat is happening in your kitchen.
  6. Assemble. Glue choux balls onto the puff pastry base using molten caramel, then pipe whipped cream in swoops, swirls, and the desperate gestures of a broken soul.
  7. Decorate with extra whipped cream. Because if it looks good enough, maybe someone else will eat it and you can avoid explaining where all your free time went.

Life-Changing Tips & Flamboyant Variations

  • Don’t have a piping bag? Just use a sandwich bag and your last shred of dignity.
  • Caramel burning? Congratulations! You’ve made sugar’s answer to cremation. Start over and curse French patisserie under your breath.
  • Feeling extra? Add chocolate drizzle. Because if you’re going down, you may as well take your pancreas with you.
  • Allergic to dairy? Try “veganizing” the whole thing. It won’t taste the same, but neither does sadness.

Nutrition: More Guilt than Calories

Here’s a breakdown to help you plan your next confession:

Component Calories Fat (g) Carbs (g) Sugar (g)
Puff Pastry Base 320 17 34 3
Choux Paste (per) 80 5 7 1
Cream (generous) 200 19 5 4
Caramel (touch) 70 0 18 18
Total (per slice) 670 41 64 26

Good luck working that off—or as I like to call it, the cardio of shame.

Ready to Ruin Your Kitchen, Self-Esteem, and Waistline?

Gather your courage, your ingredients, and a healthy sense of sarcasm. The St. Honoré Cake isn’t just a dessert. It’s a whirlwind of poor decisions, Pinterest-worthy chaos, and a treat that tastes suspiciously like victory and unresolved issues. Enjoy—or at least pretend you did on social media.

Emily Clark
Home Cook

"This blog has transformed my cooking skills! I find the recipes easy to follow and incredibly delicious."

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