Steak, Pepper Sauce & Triple Cooked Chips

Steak and Pepper Sauce with Triple Cooked Chips: The Meal That Judges You First

Let’s just say it—steak, pepper sauce, and triple-cooked chips isn’t a meal. It’s a statement. It’s what you order when you want the world to know you have taste buds, disposable income, and a deep disregard for your arteries. If this classic dinner offended anyone, well, they probably needed offending. Welcome to the only recipe post that will insult your intelligence and your cholesterol level.

What You’ll Need (A.K.A. Shopping List for Narcissists)

Before you hit the supermarket and judge people buying tofu, here’s your exclusive invite to the coronary club:

• 2 thick-cut steaks (Sirloin, Ribeye, or Whatever Wasn't on Offer)
• Sea salt and freshly cracked black pepper
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 4 large potatoes (King Edward, Maris Piper, or the ones rolling around your pantry)
• 2 tbsp beef dripping or vegetable oil (let’s pretend you care which)
• Pepper sauce:
  • 2 tbsp green peppercorns (or whatever you can sneak out of a restaurant sachet)
  • 1 small shallot, finely chopped
  • 25ml brandy (plus extra to drink and pretend you’re classy)
  • 100ml double cream
  • 1 tsp Dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp butter
• Mojo, attitude, and zero shame

How To Cook Like You Mean It (Follow if You Can Read)

1. Prep the Chips. Peel and chop the potatoes into chunky fries, or just hack at them like your ex’s voicemail. Rinse in cold water to hurt their feelings, then simmer in salted water for 10 minutes. Drain.

2. First Fry. Heat your oil or dripping in a pan. Fry chips until they look as pale as a goth at a nudist beach. That’s about 5 minutes. Drain and cool them completely. A bit like your last relationship.

3. Second Fry. Whack up the oil heat. Fry chips again until a little golden, not brown (like a spray tan fail). Remove, let them sulk in peace.

4. Final Fry. Hot oil, chips in. Finish them till they’re crispier than your aunt’s opinions at Christmas. Drain. Salt. Prepare for neighbours to complain about your deliciousness.

5. Steak Time. Get your steak out to room temp (never ask a Brit to do this in winter), oil it, season liberally. Sear in a hot pan for 2-3 minutes per side for medium-rare. Or keep flipping obsessively if you have trust issues. Rest for 5 minutes, so it can contemplate its life decisions.

6. Pepper Sauce. In the steak pan, melt butter, soften shallot, add peppercorns, deglaze with brandy (ignite if you enjoy fire drills), stir in cream and mustard. Simmer and shout expletives. Sauce should be thick enough to coat a spoon—or your enemies.

7. Serve with Arrogance. Plate up steak, drown it in sauce, surround with chips like adoring fans at a midlife crisis tour.

Tips & Variations (Because Let’s Complicate Things)

• Massage your steak with oil and salt. It likes the attention—it’s suffered enough.
• Swap brandy for whiskey. Or white spirit, if you’ve given up.
• Fancy a veggie version? Replace steak with a giant mushroom. Your friends will still stop calling.
• Try serving chips in a fancy little bucket, for ‘restaurant style.’ Then realize you’re at home and no one’s impressed.

Nutrition: Know What You’re Getting Into

Numbers don’t lie, but your bathroom scales might.

What Now?

Get that steak sizzling, chips snapping, and froth that pepper sauce like an over-caffeinated barista. If anyone in your house complains about the smell, simply remind them: it’s not dinner, it’s a power move. Snap a photo, tag us, and remember: you can work it off tomorrow. Or not—who are we kidding?

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